Russian Theatre Etiquette

Welcome to Russian theaters, where the seat assignments are made up and the tickets don't matter! That's right, the seat listed on your ticket is as worthless as any hope of spring weather arriving in Moscow before May.

I've seen a lot of theatre here in Russia, and "theatre" in Russia includes more that just drama. It includes ballet, opera, contemporary dance, installation art, and more. One thing that is true across all genres though? The seat listed on your ticket means nothing. Once you're in the theatre, all it takes is some determination and courage, and you can sit in nearly any open seat. Here's how it works: 

As a student of the Moscow Art Theatre School, I get in for free or for just a couple hundred roubles (no more than 200 or so, which works out to around $7) at nearly any show in town. The catch? I often don't have a seat. Instead, I stand around at the back of the theatre until the third bell rings. This is the final call for people to take their seats. At this point, one of two things happens. Either an usher will direct me to some extra chairs set up in the back, or I'm expected to find an open seat and take it, as quickly as possible. Seems simple enough, right? Well, in the drama theaters, it usually is. An usher will direct me to an open seat, and I'll sit down. But the opera and ballet houses are a whole different matter. In these venues, as soon as the third bell rings, it's a free-for-all. Everyone starts rushing toward better seats as soon as the lights begin to dim after the third bell. The first time I attended a ballet, a middle-aged Russian woman kicked me out of my seat. I moved, thinking she had the ticket for that seat and had just arrived. But now I know that she figured out I was a naive American and that she could take advantage of my politeness. Now I'm a bit wiser. Last night, at the New Stage of the Bolshoi, I and about a dozen of my classmates all ran out of our box and back into the theatre through another entrance to snag better seats as soon as the lights dimmed. 

Of course, occasionally, I am lucky enough to have an actual seat listed on my ticket. In that case, I'm happy to sit in my assigned seat, at least until intermission, when the mad rush toward better empty seats starts all over again.

Maslenitsa

I know I've been a bit lax on the blogging, but I have a good reason: I've been too busy eating all the pancakes I possibly can, because this past week was Maslenitsa, also known as Pancke Week or Butter Week. Okay, so that's maybe not the best reason, but this week has been pretty fantastic. Here's a quick recap:

Last Sunday, we went on a bus tour around Moscow. We visited the cemetery where Chekhov, Stanislavsky, and Bulgakov are buried, along with many other famous Russians. We visited the WWII (or as they call it here, the Great Patriotic War) memorial. We also stopped along the Moscow River to see the Peter the Great statue, and we spent some time walking around Red Square.

Overlooking the city of Moscow

On Tuesday, I treated myself to my first blintz of Pancake Week. I went for the traditional Russian topping of sour cream, and while I was sitting at one of the little outdoor tables enjoying it, a photographer from the Moscow Times came over and asked to take my picture. The next day, I was on the front page of the website! (Though they bumped me to page 3 in the printed edition.) Here's the link to the story.

Throughout the rest of the week, I treated myself to a variety of pancakes and crepes filled with everything from pineapple to tvarog (similar to cottage cheese). A week of treats culminated in Butter Sunday today. Some of our Russian professors and staff coordinated a brunch to celebrate the end of Maslenitsa; this involved them coming over and cooking crepes for us. All the students brought toppings - everything from fruit to Nutella to peanut butter to cheese to meat to caviar! Russian Orthodox Lent begins tomorrow, so today is a last indulgence. Of course, everyone was extra celebratory because of St. Patrick's Day, too!

Recent Google searches from Russia

Living in a foreign country can be confusing, especially at first. Luckily, I (sometimes) have the Internet here, so I can turn to Google to help me out. Here are some recent searches I've made:

• "Giraffe." Follow-up search: "death of giraffe." My classmates and I often don't know the full Russian or English titles of the shows we're seeing until we get there. We were told we were seeing a show called Giraffe, so we looked it up. As it turns out, the show seems to be called Death of a Giraffe, and the Cincinnati Zoo seems to have had a famous incident with a dying giraffe, as Google suggested we search for "death of giraffe Cincinnati Zoo."
• "Tvarog." Just wanted some more info on the Russian cheese product I keep buying. I didn't find much that I didn't already know, but that's not going to stop me from eating it!
• "Too much dairy." I'm eating a whole lot of dairy here in Russia, so I though it prudent to ask Google if I was going to run into problems. So far, so good.
• "Crime punishment free." We're seeing a stage adaptation of Crime and Punishment, so I decided to find the book to read on my iPad. What did people do before Project Gutenberg and free online public domain ebooks?
• "How to cook without nonstick pan." I clearly never learned basic kitchen skills since I was spoiled by Teflon cookware. The trick is to get the pan hot, then add oil, then food. I tried it with my stir-fry last night, and it worked like a charm. Thanks, Chef Google!

On the occasion of International Women's Day

Today, March 8, is International Women's Day. Though you might not realize this if you live in the US, this holiday is huge in Russia. For several days now, we've seen posters up around Moscow simply stating "Марта 8" to remind everyone that the holiday was coming up. Flower shops have been doing brisk business, as have jewelry stores and chocolatiers. 

This morning, we awoke to find that the men of our program had left each of us a flower and a haiku. 

Our flowers and poems

They then proceeded to cook us a delicious brunch of eggs, sweet potato hash, fresh fruit, French toast, and chocolates. They even did the dishes afterward!

The men cooking

Since we don't have classes due to the holiday, and the museums will all be very crowded today (according to one of our Russian professors), I'm taking the afternoon to rest and relax before seeing a show tonight. Hopefully it will be a good one - King Lear at the Satirikon Theater last night was fantastic!

Let's give this technology thing a try!

Okay, I give in. I'll try blogging. After being here for a week, it's clear that I need a better way to keep in touch with everyone stateside, so blogging it is! 

A quick recap. I'm spending three months studying at the Moscow Art Theater School (MXAT) as part of my MFA program in dramaturgy. I arrived a week ago, and so far it's been a whirlwind of discoveries. On the whole, most things are better than I expected. Here are the highlights:

1) I can eke out some basic communication in Russian, at least enough to buy groceries and order food at the столовая (cafeteria). I can even pick up quite a few phrases when seeing plays or listening to a professor lecture in class. (Our classes with Russian-speaking professors do have translators, but I enjoy trying to pick up the Russian words.)

2) There is so much good dairy here. And so much cheap, tasty bread. Bakery loaves can be had for 30 rubles, or about $1. 

3) The theaters are packed every night. People sit on the stairs and stand in the aisles. The theaters set up extra chairs in the aisles and attach fold-down seats to the ends of rows, ensuring that the aisles are effectively only about four inches wide during the shows.Granted, Russian fire code is nothing like that in America, but it is thrilling to see how many people consistently attend the theater.

4) The cafeteria is the best. I can consistently get lunch for $2-3 (60-90 rubles), and everyone goes there - from the students to the administrators to the head of the school, everyone loves the столовая.

5) The dorm showers. Hot water nearly instantly with better water pressure than I get at home. So nice.

And the lowlights:

1) My Russian is not nearly as good as I'd like. Reading the plays before I see them is an absolute necessity, even if I've read them before. And trying to find seats in the theaters or put money on the Metro cards seems downright impossible.

2) Despite the abundance of bread and cheese, Russia is not a vegetarian's paradise. Produce is very expensive in the supermarkets, and the outdoor markets require haggling to get good deals. I'm not a person inclined to haggle, and even if I were, my Russian language skills are not yet up to the challenge. Case in point: on Saturday, I got so flustered at the first farmers' market I found that I ended up paying 100 rubles ($3) for three small tomatoes. At least they were fresh and flavorful!

3) Russian etiquette seems impossible to decipher. Lines are optional, pushing is the norm, and if you can intimidate shy American students into giving up their seats for you, all the better. At the same time, handing money to someone is rude (because money is dirty), and everyone kindly stands to the right on the (impossibly steep Soviet-era) escalators.

4) It's expensive! A small cup of plain coffee at Starbucks (or Старбакс, as the locals say) will set you back about $6. KFC has coffee for the bargain price of $3. I'm so glad I brought my thermos!

5) The dorm internet. Of all the downsides to living in a dorm again, the spotty, finicky internet has to be the biggest. In fact, the on-again, off-again internet is a big factor in my starting this blog. Trying to keep people back home up to date over video calls that constantlyi cut out, lag, or drop was getting exhausting. So I'll spell out the details here, and hope that I can squeeze out just enough internet to upload the posts!